George Carlin's "Napalm & Silly Putty"
"What is all this nonsense about angels? Do you realize that three
out of four Americans now believe in angels? What are they, fuckin'
stupid? Has everyone lost their goddamn minds?
Angels, my ass! You know what I think it is? I think it's a massive,
collective, chemical flashback from all the drugs--all the drugs!--smoked,
swallowed, snorted, and shot up by all Americans from 1960 to 2000.
Forty years of adulterated street drugs will get you some fuckin' angels,
Angels, shit. What about goblins? Doesn't anyone believe in goblins? And
zombies. Where the fuck are all the zombies? That's the trouble with
zombies, they're unreliable. I say that if you're gonna buy that
angel bullshit, you may as well go for the goblin-zombie package as
[reminds me that a recent
survey found that about 32% of the American public still thought that the
sun revolves around the Earth...]
...and 100 Americans die each year from swallowing ball-point pens...PK]
Carlin #2, for the day:
This classic >>>
Bullshit From The Sky
"But folks, I have to tell you, in the bullshit department, a
business man can't hold a candle to a clergyman. Because when it comes to
bullshit. Big-time, major-league bullshit. You have to stand in awe--in
awe!--of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims:
religion. No contest.
Religion--easily--has the Greatest Bullshit Story Ever Told! Think about
it: religion has actually convinced people--many of them adults--that
there's an invisible man who lives in the sky and watches everything you
do, every minute of every day. And who has a special list of ten things he
does not want you to do.
And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of
fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you
to remain and suffer and burn and
choke and scream and cry, forever and ever, till the end of time. But he
He loves you, and he needs money! He always needs money. He's
all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, but
somehow...he just can't handle money. Religion takes billions of dollars,
pays no taxes, and somehow always needs a little more. Now, you talk about
a good bullshit story. Holy shit!"
N.B.>>>Need I say more?_____PK
..."There'll be pie in the sky when you die."
_____ Woody Guthrie, 1930 something
and to paraphrase Napoleon himself: "Religion is used,
quite artfully, by the upper classes, to keep the peasantry
from killing them
Go in Peace,